A review of NHS news in 2014, from ‘the Spirit of the NHS Future’.

Respectful of all the serious, current news and that of the past year, this is a lighthearted look back at some of the stories of 2014. ‘The Spirit of the NHS Future’ looks forwards into 2015 & at what may still be changed.

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The Spirit of the NHS Future  visits the Powers-at-be
(To the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas)

[click to open music in another window]

On the first day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
I’m the ghost of the family GP.

On the second day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me: a
two-tiered system,
in the future I foresee.

On the third day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
You told GPs,
merge or hand in keys,
feder-ate or salaried please.

On the fourth day of Christmas
the Spirit said, I hear:
“Save our surgeries”,
MPIG freeze,
partners on their knees,
blame commissioning on local CCGs.

On the fifth day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
Five Ye-ar Plan!
Call it Forward View,
digital or screwed.
Let’s have a new review,
keep ‘em happy at PWC.

On the sixth day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
Ill patients making,
out-of-Ho-urs-rings!
Callbacks all delayed,
six hours wait,
one one one mistakes.
But must tell them not to visit A&E.

On the seventh day of Christmas
the Spirit said, GPs:
see your service contract,
with the QOF they’re trimming,
what-will-this-bring?
Open Christmas Eve,
New Year’s no reprieve,
please don’t cheat our Steve,
or a breach notice will you see.

On the eighth day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
Population’s ageing,
social care is straining,
want is pro-creating,
obe-si-ty’s the thing!
Cash to diagnose,
statins no one knows,
indicator woes,
and Doc Foster staff employed at CQC.

On the ninth day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
Cash for transforming,
seven days of working.
Think of emigrating,
ten grand re-registration.
Four-teen hour stints!
DES and LES are fixed.
Called to heal the sick,
still they love the gig,
being skilled, conscientious GPs.

On the tenth day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
Many Lords a-leaping,
Owen’s not been sleeping,
private contracts creeping,
Circle’s ever growing.
Care home sales not slowing.
Merge-eve-ry-thing!
New bidding wars,
tenders are on course
top nine billion, more,
still you claim to run it nation-al-ly.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
Patient groups are griping,
records you’ve been swiping,
listening while sharing,
data firms are buying,
selling it for mining,
opt-out needs defining,
block Gold-acre tweets!
The care dot data* board
minutes we shall hoard,
troubled pilots loom.
Hi-de Partridge’s report behind a tree?

On the twelfth day of Christmas
the Spirit said to me:
disabled are protesting
sanctions, need arresting,
mental health is failing,
genomes we are trading,**
staff all need more paying,
boundaries set for changing,
top-down re-arranging,
All-this-to-come!
New hires, no absurd,
targets rule the world,
regulation first.
What’s the plan to save our service, Jeremy?

– – – – – –

Thanks to the NHS staff, whose hard work, grit and humour, continues to offer the service we know. You keep us and our loved ones healthy and whole whenever possible, and deal with us & our human frailty, when it is not.

Dear GPs & other NHS staff who’ve had a Dickens of a year. Please, don’t let the system get you down.

You are appreciated, & not just at Xmas. Happy New Year everyone.

“It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”
Charles Dickens,   A Christmas Carol, 1843

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*New Statesman, Dr Phil Whitaker’s Health Matters column, 20th March 2014, ‘Hunt should be frank about the economic imperative behind the urgency to establish the [care.data] database and should engage in a sensible discussion about what might be compromised by undue haste.’

**Genomics England Kickstarting a Genomics Industry

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